درمیان شما

 

   از کوره دررفتم وبا خشم گفتم:" دروغ است، مزخرف است! همین الان مرا جاسوس خواندید. خدای من ! شما ارزشش راندارید که در کارتان جاسوسی شود، اصلا زندگی کردن در دنیایی که آدم هایی مثل شما در آن به سر می برند ارزش ندارد! مردی گشاده دل خودش را کشته ...به خاطر یک اندیشه...به خاطر هکابه ...ولی شما چه می دانید هکابه یعنی چه؟...و حالا باید در میان   دسیسه هایتان زندگی کرد، در گرماگرم دروغ هایتان اسیر تردید شد،در میان خدعه ها و حیله هایتان  ودرمیان توطئه ی مخفیانه تان ... بس است دیگر!" از رمان جوان خام 

My Author of The Month (June 2011)

How i feel his vigorous presence in my life

درسکوت

  کلا خاطرات زیادی برای من زنده شد ،وقتی سال 77 رفته بودیم دنبال آیدا ،من توی ماشین کتاب جنایت و مکافات را تمام کردم.....مثل یک انقلاب درونی که با سکوتی با شکوه برگزار شد

30 and Life !

"If I did not believe in life, if I were to lose faith in the woman I love, if I were to lose faith in the order of things, even if I were to become convinced, on the contrary, that everything is a disorderly, damned, and perhaps devilish chaos, if I were struck even by all the horrors of human disillusionment - still I would want to live, and as long as I have bent to this cup, I will not tear myself from it until I've drunk it all! However, by the age of thirty, I will probably drop the cup, even if I haven't emptied it, and walk away... I don't know where. But until my thirtieth year, I know this for certain, my youth will overcome everything - all disillusionment, all aversion to life."

Fyodor Dostoyevski
Courtesy of my friend Steven

My Turn To Philosophy

It's so important to make a sentimental flashback to my educational and scholar outfits since 2000.Extracurricular studies have always been a major interest for me.definitely it started before high school period but jelled up in history and philosophy of art in 1998-1999.I can clearly remember joyful experience of reading lives of Modigliani and Georgio de Cherico.During 2000-2001 all positive aspect faded as a futile activity.The sole study was related to Old Religious Left leader in iran Dr Ali Shariati.The text a collection of ideas about Dr Shariati's life .The most inspirational section was published letters between Shariati and Allameh Shikh Mohammad Taghi Shoushtari,where Shariati asked about interpretation of a prayer.This open hermeneutical approach to a solid text had a tremendous impact.Frustration and Burn out claws extended to my routine activities and lead to a big lenghty pause in my academic and extracurricular pace.The second movement was lead by Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling" which i read in March 2006,word by word by my heart.The huge impact of danish philosopher was highly related to synchronized events in my personal life.The soothing enlightment of philosophy warmed the heart in those disappointing period. It's definite that depth i found in pure philosophy text was an essential factor which attracted me .Now i was back to an obsessive extracurricular study timeouts.It apparently harmed my marks and grades in universty,but i really couldn't stop myself . I felt i needed to establish a systematic thinking,i needed an ideologic backbone to lean on in my hard days,to conjure up harmony in my scattered activities.I knew it will cost me a spine-chilling lengthy era but it was an inevitable step forward.
Now Philosophy is the most interesting subject for my spare time .I attend a more peaceful period in terms of organizing my mind.I discuss better,deduce better and most importantly i've opened guard toward new words and idea which is the most valuable achievement . I receive people and ideas better. 
My third wave of my studies has been  mainly focused on ideas  Arthur Schopenhauer . I also have exciting plan to re-read Dostoyevsky's early works in my spare times.Dostoyevski has had a profound influence on my ordeal type moments.