Cure

In your web
The threads entangle
Your prey is dead
Dyed in silence.

I will forever stay with you
At your feet I will kneel
At your will

Dead silent
When I move, I am moved by you
When you rule, all is ruled by you
In your world, there is only you
In my world, there is only you

In your web
The threads entangle
At your will
Dead silent

Your words are shivers down my spine
I’m numb and shapeless, in your web, in your web
My blood runs slow and red like wine
The past is shattered, forever

I serve your will, for I have been bruised and battered
And covered 
I serve your will, for I have been ordinated your lover.




Tristania
image : Vibeke Stene

Jose Mourinho

I think modern football owe him alot;it was amazing for me having a flashback to his prematch conference:

Inter Milan coach Jose Mourinho claims that Barcelona have become carried away with the chance of winning the Champions League at the Bernabeu, the stadium of their arch-rivals Real Madrid.

The Italian side came out on top in the first-leg of the semi-final clash but the Barcelona team are convinced that they can overturn the 3-1 score line at the Nou Camp on Wednesday.

After their win against Xerez in La Liga at the weekend, the players wore t-shirts encouraging fans to back them ahead of the Inter match.

From the start of this season's European campaign the ambition at the Catalan club has been greater than ever to win this tournament with the final in Madrid.

"We have a team of older players, with many over 30, and we hope that we will be able to cope with the atmosphere. It is one thing, though, to follow a dream and it is another to have an obsession. For Barça it is an obsession," said Mourinho, speaking at a packed pre-match press conference.

The Portuguese coach was in typically belligerent mood, refusing to speak in Spanish to journalists and playing on Barcelona's rivalry with Real Madrid.

An indication of the high tensions was that Inter felt the need for a bodyguard to accompany Mourinho.

"A dream is more pure than an obsession, an obsession is more about pride. Barça achieved a dream winning the Champions League in Paris and Rome last year but this time it is more about Madrid and playing at the Santiago Bernabeu, this is an obsession.

"I experienced what it is like here, I have won cups - against Betis in 1997 - at the Bernabeu, where everyone was wrapped in Catalan flags I know what it is about, it is anti-Madridismo. It is an obsession.

"I can't say for me it is a personal dream (to win the Champions League) as I have won it before but I want to win it for Inter as it is more than 40 years since they got to the final.

"If I can help Mr Moratti (the Inter president), if I can help the players and if I can contribute a little bit as coach to achieve this dream then I would be very happy."

Inter will be without the suspended Dejan Stankovic but it appears that Mourinho is ready to gamble on Wesley Sneijder who has a slight thigh strain.

"We will see if he can play for 90 minutes as there is still a small problem. We have other important games in the league but I am ready to risk him as everything will be decided tomorrow," said Mourinho.

"There are 90 minutes still to be played and history is full of comebacks, it is easy to score three quick goals especially for a side like Barça," said Mourinho.

A lot of pressure has been put on the referee ahead of the match with Barca players claiming they were unfairly muscled out of the game at the San Siro. Inter midfielder Thiago Motta turned the attack on the Barca players accusing them of cheating.

"This is a very important match and I suppose they (Barcelona) are doing what they can to win the game but we are relaxed. We will try and play clean football but we are accustomed to seeing Barca players diving and so we hope that the referee does his job well. It is not only Barça that need to worry," he said.

"We know how Inter will play. They will look for space and attack and so we can't give them space. We have to help the referee as well so that it is easier for him."

from : AFP

Brief Candles

"Out, 
out, 
brief candle!
 Life's but a walking shadow,
 a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: 
it is a tale told by an idiot, 
full of sound and fury, 
signifying nothing."

April 25 2010;Blogger Blocked

Hey ; it's been tough ,blogger is blocked and i can't access and update my lonely cottage !
I don't know what will happen next;actually i feel really pissed off ; don't know why this heavy load of censorship is planned here?
Anyway i'm using hospital DSL ; maybe must ask for a high internet speed;absolutely intolerable condition !

My New Albums

My New Albums:
1- Woods ------------ I was gone 2010
2- Broadway Project ----------The Vessel 2004
3- Colosseum ----------- Chapter I:Delirium 2007
4- Remembrance -----------Fall,Obsidian Night 2010
5- Aldebaran -------------Dwellers in Twilight 2007
6- Arco ----------------Transparency 2002
7-Audrey ---------------- The Fierce and The Longing 2009
8-Early Day Miners ------------- The Treatment 2009


image : Colosseum 

The Headless Woman

It was a fantastic and basically shocking movie.
The plot is rather simple : Vero run into something/someone with her car ; and leaves the scene.After this incident she finds symptoms of a kind of neurosis...
There are still some elaborative points still undisclosed and i have to watch the movie again but;
The idea is really splendid,as long as i watched the accident scene it isn't clear wether its an animal or a human hit by the car...but the opening sequence showing kids playing around the canal suggests the latter.You take a journey to dark corner of life via Vero's perception of the accident. 
Vero's attitude to the event is simply Denial.A kind of natural mechansim for Defense against traumatic experiences of life;a mental process;but it afflicts her subconscious awareness ,paralyzes her ordinary functions which nearly leads to nervous break-down.So a recall of this event is inevitable;the pressure of mind is unbearable.
The Headless Woman (La Mujer Sin Cabeza) is written and directed by Lucrecia Martel nominated for Golden Palm at Cannes Film Festival 2008
Maybe i'll write about the movie again after watching it for the second time(or maybe 3rd !)

I Sit And Look Out

I sit and look out upon all the sorrows of the world,and upon all oppressions and shame,
I hear secret convulsive sobs from young men at anguish with themselves,
Remorseful after deeds done,
I see in low life the mother missused by her children,dying,neglected,gaunt,desperate,
I see the wife misused by her husband,i see the treacherous seducer of young women,
I mark rankings of jealousy and unrequited love attempted to be hid,i see these sights on the earth,
I see the working of battle ,pestilence,tyranny,i see martyrs and prisoners,
I observe a famine at sea,I observe the sailers casting lots to see
Who shall be kill'd to preserve the lives of the rest,
I observe the slights and degradations cast by arrogant persons upon laborers,the poor,and upon negros,and the like;
All these the meanness and agony without end,I
sitting look out upon ,see,hear ,and am silent.





Poem : Walt Whitman
Image : Tired Eyes by Irene Dominguez Marquez aka Namtaru

Peter Steele Died

Shocking news ;Peter Steele lead singer and bassist of Brooklyn based gothic metal band died of heart failure at 48.

The following is an interview Star-Ledger's Lisa Rose had with the musician on November 2000

The power of Negative thinking Don't be fooled by the frowns, black-on-black garb and soul-wracking lyrics, there is a lighter side to Type O Negative. Lead singer-bassist Peter Steele feels most listeners miss the dust-dry humor behind the somber image.

"People don't get the joke, which is that we think we're the joke," said Steele, 38, on the phone from a Cleveland tour stop.

The Brooklyn metal act's just-released career retrospective disc, "The Least Worst of Type O Negative," celebrates a decade of sarcasm. The opening track is 39 seconds of quiet titled "The Misinterpretation of Silence and It's Disastrous Consequences (Wombs and Tombs Mix)."

"Everyone is doing these tribute albums so we decided to do a Type O Negative tribute album - by Type O Negative," said Steele, a Playgirl model and former N.Y.C. sanitation worker.

The record includes alt-radio hits "Christian Woman" and "Black No. 1," as well as anti-anthems like "Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity." While their 2 rpm rendition of Seals & Croft's "Summer Breeze" isn't included on the comp, there is "Hey Pete," a steele-centric twist on the classic rock standard "Hey Joe." They do Black Sabbath's "Black Sabbath," as told from Satan's point of view.

Live, the band is focusing on material from their 1999 "World Coming Down" album. The sound - lush keyboards, Texas chainsaw guitars and Steele's Outer Borough baritone - is vintage Type O. But the words are something of a departure, mourning late relatives rather than dead relationships and long-lost Goth chicks.

"I have to disassociate myself from what (the songs are) about so I don't get too depressed and crack up on stage," said Steele. "When I wrote songs like 'Everyone I Love is Dead,' I never thought about how I was going to execute them live."

Steele, who credits Black Sabbath and the Beatles as key inspirations, recently co-wrote the song "Just Say No To Love" with Tony Iommi for the Black Sabbath guitarist's solo record.

"I felt like a big kid," said Steele. "To be writing music with him, I was awestruck. I was stuttering. I've loved Sabbath since I was 15. I like that slow, heavy sound. Grinding, churning stuff. Ozzy (Osbourne) sounded like the ultimate outcast and I didn't fit in too well in high school with the nerds, the jocks or the cool jeans."

The singer lambastes rap-metal and said his record collection pauses at the mid-1980's.

"I think all recent music sucks, and that includes Type O Negative," Steele deadpanned.

Effigy

Alone
All the time
Empty hall 
Echoes of  outcast shouts
All remains of distant chants




"Alone"
Demotic for all seasons of my life


Like this
Because of being rare


Alone


I'm  the one 
Prone to extinction 
Prey for Drastic Claws


Here it comes
Alluring steps of Dark Angel


...Approaches
Squeezes...
There's no one on my side


A sheer rim of light
Is it the last image ?


and in darkness
Total  Gloom
I feel it
Running in my veins


A code
A word
Four letters 
All deciphered


I  rise


Startlingly
It's Glamour of  Wretchedness
or is it pride of entangled souls
Don't know it
But it prevails




Horror declines
As I stand for my pale flesh
Against the colorful 


take away this dust off my soul
Gather shredded paused moments of life




Burning a flame 
Of my own
Trigger is no more fear 
Injustice,
Rage ,
or Hunger,


It's my solitude


I'm burnung 
Running
Watch me 
Making a Perfect Circle
Alone.


Pedram April 19 2010
3:30 am
Image : The Burning Man festival of Black Rock City ;Nevada

Enthralling Last Gasp Header

Another dramatic derby; another dead time winner.
Actually watching Man U games has been an inspiration for me ,following the games since 1994-5 ;
A common spirit is really dominant in the club ; the relentless fighting spirit in this football club ; what more can a sprt club present to the spectator.
Yes;it was a massive game ; another massive day of this crazy season , a day began with absolute hopelessness revelled with injury-time victory ;put Man U back on track for title race.
No matter United achieve anything this exhiltrating season or not ;the vapor of this hard pitch will fill my lungs for years.


Pic : Paul Scholes last gasp header against City (manutd.com)

Macbeth : Sayeh Hall

It was Macbeth;Directed by Reza Servati
The Actors were great , especially Hessam Manzour and Mrteza Esmail Kashi were spectacular.  
The atmosphere was really great .although the show needed some depth and Sayeh Hall was far from ideal Servati managed the show.
The group was selected as the best  student theater group last year .
It was a memorable night for me; made me study more about the tragedy. A subject i really haven't studied well i guess many worthy points of the show is still hidden for me.

Photo : Mehdi Hasani >>>  Hessam Manzour as Macbeth

Theater

Tonight ;i'm going to theater with a friend ;and i'm feeling so excited ...
The last time was about six months ago;based on a play by Alberto Moravia;it was fantastic.
I'll write about this new one soon .

Legions

Stony and grey is the whore,
And long are the days in the morgue
Where God is a wall
Where God is a wall  to look upon


Legions and hordes
The seas have been torn
And buildings remain where they fall
And I solemnly walk
Through  legions and hordes
A dark mass of infidel


Long is the howl at the end
A cry from the tail echoing
And fools reverberate
And fools reverberate and carry on


What have they done to themselves?
Look what they've done to themselves.


If you don't learn o leave this thing alone
You'll never get to see the sun again
You won't come out on top
The seed is sown






.

Back At My Desk

i went to the university ; some official paper works for my thesis;rather unsuccessful day
i need some signatures and the professor had left.So i must try again on saturday . i've planned  saturday for the next round ;first i will complete the documents at department of Pharmacology and then put my thesis for bookbinding. i guess  binded ones are needed.I have no idea how long does it take. It was also mentioned a CD of my thesis is required (in Word)
The positive side is that i 've done my defense and my marks are ready ;actually obtained a full mark which is soothing somehow.
Now i'm back and will continue my writing after lunch at  14:45

Mud Feeler

Now abyssed Lucifers master the earth

Uncloister jaded harlots once served

Enthralled by cruel raptures, rehearsed

Kiss slumbered beauty and weapon our thousand year curse

Cradle Of  Filth
Image : A Harlot's Progress by William Hogarth

Progress Note 3 ; 6:15 am

Actually nothing more; not a simple word
i must call it a day now
overall it was acceptable
I hope the next 24 hours i will work more efficiently.

Eyes

"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die
Look at the pain around me
This is what I cry for
Look at the pain around me
This is what I'll die for "


Iced Earth

Progress Note 2:55am

Getting a little slower but i won't give up.
I made myself some brazilian coffee "Pilao" little by little i'm getting used to its taste.
Now getting closer tp harder parts of my articles.
Trying to keep the pace

Progress Note on My Writing

It's gone very well till now (1:44 am) i ' ve just finished Materials & Methods,gonna continue now with itroduction of IBS model.Our previous paper is a big help.
Time matters the most right now.Long night ahead of me .

Write ! Write ! Write !

These days i experience a heavy load of pressure;due to postponed projects and papers, i started writing IBS thing on Sunday ;gonna continue tonight.I must add two case reports which will be discussed with Dr Taslimi.
I also confirmed my French class which will begin on Saturday April 17th,and is planned for a weekly basis .
Right now the wisest use of time is needed to end this gap till my millitary service .

Chimeric Principles Of Flesh

And i see him
Shouting
Loudly
Across my bed
Clinging his hand to mine
My corpse
Still ;yet breathing vigorously
I can recognize the face
The cuddly arms
But i can't obey the rules
Paralyzed...


And i see him...


Scratching his face
Trying to show me...
...a signal
...a slight motion
but i couldn't 




and i can't
Since then,
I've walked this bleak road 
Looking for the man,
Who once  stood above my bed-time fairies
He ; who wanted to embrace my dusty soul
and
Cut these soilent roots


The man who weeped for me
That day.


Pedram / April 10 / 2010
image : Black Spirit ;Don't Let Go

United Eliminated

...it's a very distressful night; it gets worse when you watch the players playing their best in the first half , but i think Olic's late strike  in 43th minute gave them the momentum to lead the game(unfortunately).
One more thing that hurt me  tonight was listening to these undereducated hired as analyst and commentator (Iranian National  TV is absolutely intolerable). As i don't have access to satelite and this National (!) TV is rushing to become a complete nonsense; i used to enjoy watching some football matches ...
Actually i found this common character in all iranian people today ; they back the  winners ; i mean success and wealth comes first ...it might be considered as a positive point but you know as long as i 've observed it harshly blinds one's insight   .

So;
Man United made a dramatic heart-breaking farewell :(

Man United vs Bayern Munich

Feeling a bit nervy; Manchester United vs Bayern Munich in an hour;
Sir Alex decided a 4-5-1 
i've got a strange feeling that Berbatov will show his worth tonight...

Bring It On

Internship finished ;
It's definitely a landmark in my life as a hard working period came  to a close but...
It wasn't a remarkable sensational finish.Reason or reasons are still unknown for me ;  a flair-up of my GAD is the most probable in  my mind.
This experience once again showed how i lack concentration in decisive terminal moments of a course.It's something in my mind which i must correct as soon as possible.
I'd spent about 8 days of fantastic trip to Mashad ;enjoyed my time there with my family in absolute peace.
A simple mistake ; in a glimpse ruined all the joy..and i'm to blame
Through these days i've built up an attitude toward my mistakes and a combative response is guaranteed;It's a part of my character right now And that's how i'm  looking  to the future;as a life to reach my goals is an accolade path;There are problems on my way awaiting me ; they can be interpreted as opportunities to grow one's wisdom;as challenges you can test your personality as you get over them.I want to fight and also enjoy .
I must stop all the bobbles;interrupting my evolution;
I criticize myself more openly all the time ; cause i want to grow .


" Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty. With martial valor, if one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows great determination, though his head is cut off, he should not die." Ghost Dog Screenplay